Honey Dog Tales - Four

By Walt Perryman

Honey Dogs Philosophy on Humans

I have been people-watching for many years and they are a hoot. Now we canines can tell everything about another dog by a sniff or two. But not humans they can smell each other for three days, then lose their trail. They smile at each other, talk, chit-chat, and dance. Of all these human rituals, dancing is one of the funniest, looks like two pea cocks fixing to fight. My master looks like a frog in a blender.

It appears to me that dancing is somewhat painful to a lot of them, but they do it for hours, sniffing is a lot faster, but they do not do that much they are having a hard-enough time just breathing. My master covers up the fact that he is out of breath and about to faint. I was so embarrassed, have you ever seen a dog’s face turn red? Then he wobbles to a table and takes his cell phone out like he is making an important call, Cow chips, he does not even know how to call anyone, he is just trying to re-coup from dancing, That wimp, duct tape, oilfield master of mine.

All of this could be avoided if they would learn how to sniff. My canine friends keep on sniffing and not dancing. One more thing, can you imagine if a spaceship landed, and Aliens got out walked into the dance hall, and saw people dancing? Heck, the spaceship would not even cool off before they are headed back to where they came from. What a dog’s life I live. Later my friends

Canine news line by Honey Dog

Well, my fellow dogs, I have been thinking and I believe soon science will prove to people that we, dogs know a lot more than they have been thinking all this time. They think we are dumb animals; I wish I could tell them what I think about them.

How can we not know something? We spend 24 hours a day listning to their yap, yap. They can talk for hours and not say enough to fill up my food bowl. Especially out at Luckenbach, I have heard my Master talk for an hour to some old boy and they are not even on the same page. Yea! I cannot, not, listen to it all, he has me on a short rope and I cannot get out of hearing distance.

Here is another funny human pastime, dancing; I swear sometimes it looks like the fire ants got to them. It is funny they jump and rub around like no other animal on this earth that I can think of. Oh!! And my, dancing in the stars, duct tape, master looks like a frog in a blender when he dances. I worry about him because he looks like he is in pain. And my fellow dogs, they call it fun.

If we acted that way the man with the cage on the back of his truck and a long pole with a loop on it would haul our dog tails to the pound. They would think we had rabies for acting that way. I believe the day will come and people will be embarrassed thinking of the stuff they had done and said in front of their dogs.

That will be a fun canine day. We can laugh our dumb animal tails plum off. Of course, my master will duct tape it back on. Another food for thought by the great Honey Dog!!! Bow! Wow!