Asymmetrical!

By Mary E. Adair

Oh to be Asymmetrical!
To have planes that slope or jut
To be able to command attention
Standing hip-shot or tilting one's butt.

To smooth a blouse that's blousy,
Not stretched from here to there
With crosswise wrinkles straining
To hide what one dreads to bare.

To toss one's locks effectively
Around slim neck and firm chin
Rather than combing hair forward
To cover jaw's puffed excess skin.

To reach and pick up objects
Displaying graceful arm and tiny wrist
Not struggle to keep sleeves lengthened
Over pudgy arm clear down to one's fist.

To recognize an ankle bone
Defined and oh so neat
That guides the eye downward
To lean and flexible feet.

With angular hip bones all can see
Pushing out against one's skirt
And svelte, thin arms whose elbows
When bent, appear sharp enough to hurt.

The type of silhouette you'll see in Elle
Once prevalent on every Vogue page--
So barely there in profile shot--
The look that's still the rage.

The sophisticated semi-lunge
Of the flat-chested ballerina form
Lopsided pose to proselytize
Sassoon's odd style as the norm.

No capacious capes draped over this model
No curvy hips you'll see,
All are extremely asymmetrical--
None bounteously shaped like me.

No lap to cuddle a baby or two--
Why, they'd slide right off to the floor!
And those ribs would be like leaning against
A wrought iron guard on a door.

So maybe it would never fit my life style
To be asymmetrical, and yet
The admiring looks men cast their way
Are difficult for my ego to forget.

Thus I often dream how great it'd be
To weigh less than half what I do
And I strive to eat healthy and exercise--
A regimen I really don't rue.

But, Oh to be Asymmetrical--
Not rounded in every place
From calves and thighs and hips
To shoulders, bosom, and face.

All my angles are well hidden within--
Sharp remarks and a pointed reply--
But the next time I hear I'm 'well-rounded'
Someone may receive a black eye.

©Jan 09, 2008 Mary E. Adair