Great Jobs . . .
By
Leocthasme
Great Jobs
Some I Was Forced to Quit
Some I Got Fired From
And Some I Failed At, Completely
(A continuing series of incidents in a comedy of
errors)
It seems that a while back, my offspring, my wife
and editor, and a few close friends, that know me well,
decided that I should write a series of articles, which
I will refer to as incidents, in a lifetime of funny
happenings at various jobs that I have had. First let
me state that I was never at a loss to find work even
though I was put off, told off, and even chased off the
premises of job sites. Most employers just said that
the job was not for me because of a sight problem which
‘bugged’ me from the time that I was old enough to begin
falling over everything in my path. At an early age my
mother put some specks on me, which helped me see the
kids I was fighting with. Let’s just say ‘the problems
never stopped me’. So here are a series of funny and
not so funny incidents.
Getting my first Drivers
License
I am sure my mother loved me dearly but dreaded the
day that I would turn 16 and ask for the keys to the
family car.
"You don’t know how to drive, and right now I don’t have
the time to teach you,” was the response.
“You don’t need to teach me, I know how.”
“Who (and under her breath ‘and what idiot’) taught
you?”
“Well, Uncle Henry taught me. You know, on Sundays when
he would take me to the zoo, wherever, he let me drive
through the park. I can hit all them curvy park roads
at 35 and never squeal a tire.”
“Oh my God.” An uttered thought. “Get out of here,
take the keys and just call and tell me what precinct to
bail you out of.” And an afterthought, “Let me see
your license.”
And I proudly showed it to mom. After all it took me
most of a day to linger about the license office and
watch each applicant read the flashed signs at the back
of the office. There were a dozen or more of them so I
had to observe each sign, its location, and then the
response of each applicant as they read the words on the
sign. Most of the day was spent, making sure that no
matter what sign was flashed I could ’read’ it. And
believe it or not, I got them all right, without ever
‘seeing’ a one. License granted.
"Thanks mom, I am going to pick up Bob Green and we have
a weekend job out at ‘905’ in Lemay as car hops. Good
tip money, I’ll put some gas in the car on the way
home.”
“Did you say ‘905’, my God, that is a liquor store.”
“Well, yea, but they serve burgers and fries too, and we
serve the drive-in lot.”
“Get lost, no I didn’t mean that, just go and don’t
forget to make the first phone call to me, they only
allow one.”
“Bye, mom, see you this evening.”
“I hope!”
Be sure to read February issue
for
the next article in this series!
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