I've looked in the closets and under the bed
This is truly the Season I most of all dread
And the baking (and the wrapping) is all yet to do
I've looked in the storeroom, the attic - not there,
The garage loft's only crammed with camp gear to spare,
I've looked and I've looked but I know I'm not through.

Did I give it all to the girl's club? the boy's? 4-H?
Have the UFO's come and taken them someplace?
Must I now look among the planets like Jupiter and Mars?
Wait! Say that slowly, make it "under the stairs,"
The same place we store toys and worn Teddy Bears?
Please! Let there also be tinsel! icicles! bulbs and stars!

At last! They're found! Just a box or two
There's really not much that's left to do
Oh! Just maybe this Season won't be quite so hairy...
We'll trim the tree, send Christmas cards to all
We'll sweep up the glass from the one broken ball...
Oh! Let's Celebrate this Season! It's really quite merry!