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Cookin' With Leo

By Leocthasme

French Fried Cheese

Let's tell it like it is, only a Texan would take a round of Camembert French Cheese, and fry it in a skillet. Well, I heard about all this and took a look into what was behind it all. Seems unlikely that any tall Texan wearin' his tall Stetson, and tall heeled boots would ever get into anything like Camembert Cheese and French Wine, well skip the wine, they can get rid of a bottle of that stuff without a flinch. Bourbon and Branch will usually get rid of the effects of most sand storms anyway. But, let me tell you how they got into French Cheese Fryin'.

Seems that goes back to the Alamo, and to be sure, no true Texan will ever forget it. Back then Santa Anna, not only had a Mexican Army, but he has a bunch of English Lords, German Barons, and French Noblemen, supposedly helping him defeat Texans. Well, as it turned out, the English knew damn well, after the Alamo, that a bunch of upstart Colonists, who moved to Texas, already knocked them off twice, once in '76 and then again at the Battle of New Orleans. So even though Santa Anna claimed total victory at the Alamo, the English Lords knew better than to discount a bunch of Colonists turned Texans, so they sort of wandered off and settled in Houston, so that when the oil wells started comin' in they would have already learned how to be legal eagles and could make as much off the wells as the Texans what drilled 'em.

And the Germans of course, already had some experience with tryin' to help George Washington and found out he did pretty well on his own. So they wandered off an' started a community in and around San Antonio, so as when them fightin' Colonists turned Texans finally sent Santa Anna runnin' back to Mexico, they would have some grapes growin' what were much tougher than them French grapes which made that fancy French stuff, which the Texans usually used as mouth wash.

So, what happened to them French Noblemen? Well, they were around when Santa Anna got his butt beat, and seeing how mad them Texans could get, they snuck off in the night and went back to New Orleans, and not wanting to be known as sissy Frenchmen, who let a bunch of rag tag Texans beat up on a whole Mexican Army that relied on their help, they never mentioned the fact again. But, so that no one would ever know they were 'helpful' to the Mexicans, they built the French Quarter and started Mardi Gras celebrations where they could peddle off their fancy French Wine to unsuspecting Yankees who came to join in the festivities before they all got religion during the next 40 days of Lent.

OK but what about, the Texans and French Fried Cheese? Well, they were sort of mad at the French Noblemen who liked fancy Wine and fancy smellin' Cheese so they set about doin', what comes naturally to any true Texan. They barbequed it, sort of in spite. Thus, after many years of lettin' the stuff fry next to the steer that was smokin' over the mesquite, they decided that good mesquite smoke didn't need no cheese smells dilutin' the good smoke that made that great Texas BBQ. So they brought the stuff into the kitchen for Ma to do somethin' with. And of course all Texas Gals are good at fryin' anything and everything. So they found a way to make the stuff taste a bit better than cheese and crumpets and sissy wine. An' here is what they came up with:

True Texan, Fried Camembert Cheese.

So here is how French Fried Cheese is done in Texas:

First of all you will need to get a 6 inch round of Camembert Cheese, medium soft, and not too ripe
You will also need one large beaten egg.
1 cup, fresh breadcrumbs.
4 tablespoons unsalted butter. Divided.
˝ cup chopped green onion tops.

An' here is how you do it:

Dip the unskined round of cheese in the egg and coat both sides well with the bread crumbs. Heat 2 tablespoons of the butter in a skillet large enough to hold the round of cheese. Over high heat, fry the cheese on both sides until it is brown. Remove from heat and set aside on warm platter. Reduce the heat to the pan and melt the rest of the butter. Stir in the onion tops and sauté them for about 2 minutes. Pour that over the Cheese and serve immediately with biscuits or Texas Toast.

A couple of jugs of that San Antonio German wine to flush down the French cheese and crumpets will make a nice appetizer for that BBQ'd steer what's been savorin' over the Texas mesquite.

An' remember the Alamo while thankin' the French for
Cheese what's fit fer fryin' but not much else.

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Reader Comments

Name: Melinda Email:
Comment: Oh, good Lord!!! This one is about as funny as any I've ever read ANYWHERE! Absolutely love Leo's version of history. He makes me B'LIEVE it's the gospel truff. (And the recipe sounds pretty darned delicious, too!)



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