Cookin' With Leo

By Leocthasme

This Brave Bull Chili Recipe is an original, developed through a bunch of Chili Cook Off contests. It won recognition at many of the Annual Kidney Foundation Chili Cook Outs 'cause the word got passed 'round that it was made with buffalo meat (you can use it if you can get it.) This is good stuff and should be served at an annual Super Bowl Party or at Fall and Winter big events.

Before you start, you should read through this recipe so you get an idea of what you are going to need, and let's don't forget the rules. For this Chili you'll need all the ingredients as laid out, without no substitutions or changes. If brand names are called for USE 'EM. Through experience and disappointing outcomes, the brands have been superior. Whatever you do you must remember, THIS AIN'T NO CALORIE COUNTIN' COOKIN' EVENT. Don't start changin' things around to conform to some weight watcher's idea. There are a few dozen items in this recipe and they all have to be good to get good results. If we understand each other LET'S GO.

I'm sure you ain't got everything on this list, so we better go on a little shoppin' spree to get the stuff you'll need. First place to hit is a good butcher shop, find one and make friends with the guy that runs it. You can't get the kind of meat and cuts in a super market as you can in a butcher shop (they're still around and can be found). Here's your list for the butcher shop:

2 - LB's ground pork - coarse ground and no seasoning.
3 - LB's veal - lean and cubed - about 1-inch chunks.
6 - LB's beef (or buffalo) - lean (buffalo is lean) and cubed - about 1 ½" to 2" chunks.

OK, that's it for the Butcher Shop. Remember I said make friends with the guy. Veal is usually lean, but it can be up to two years old and still be called veal. At two years that little sucker can be puttin' on weight. When you ask for beef you got to ask for lean beef (like 90% lean) and for cryin' out loud don't get no ground hamburger, that stuff is for the McDonald's bunch.

Now let's head out to the nearest liquor store (you won't have to make friends with this guy, he'll sell you anything you want.) Get anything you want , but this is what you'll need:

1 - cup Kahlua, a product of Mexico and it ain't cheap. You'll have to buy the bottle to get a cup of it. The rest makes good morning coffee Great.
1 - cup Monte Alban Mescal, another product of Mexico that ain't cheap. It sometimes comes with a worm in the bottom of the bottle. The worm's good too, but don't put it in the Chili.
2 - cans of Mick (if you want to save a dime I'll allow Bud) and if you're thinkin' of Lite you ain't payin' attention at all.
2 - cans 7-Up (and that ain't Diet 7-Up either).

That's it! You're finished with the liquor store. Let's move on to the Import Stores where they got good fresh spices and stuff you can't find in the Super. Stuff in bottles you will have to buy as is, but you can get spices in small amounts like ½ ounces. So don't pick up pretty little bottles of spices that cost a fortune just because it comes in a shaker bottle. Most of these shops will weigh up small amounts of spice and put it in little plastic bags. That is the best way to get spice; it will never get stale or dried out. OK here is what you need:

1 - cup Pure Virgin Olive Oil (there might even be a picture of a Virgin on the front of the bottle.)
11 - toes of fresh garlic.
11 - fresh Jalapeno peppers.
1 - 8oz can green HOT chilies.
6 - oz New Mexico Hot Chili Powder.
6 - tblspns ground Cumin.
2 - tspns Coriander.
2 - tblspns Wyler's Crushed Beef Bouillon (cubes are too hard to dissolve).
1 - 16-18oz can of whole green Spanish Tomatillos.
2 - tspns Oregano.
4 - tspns Paprika.
2 - tblspns Mole'
2 - tblspns Masa Harina Corn Flour.
1 - oz Cayenne Pepper Flakes.

Guess you thought you'd never get out of that joint. Well, the rest is easy. Now we can head for a Super. Here is the rest of the list:

1 - 16-18 oz can (no name) whole peeled tomatoes (don't get stewed tomatoes.)
1 - 16 oz can Contadina Tomato Paste.
4 - LB's large white onions.

And, that's the end of the list. Play Santa Claus now, you know, read your list and check it twice. Before you start cookin' be sure you got everything.

OK, you got everything? All ready to go? Then let's start cookin'. What you cook on is up to you, gas, electric stove, BBQ grill, campfire, whatever. But, what you cook with is another matter. You're an amateur if you ain't got a good cast iron skillet and pot with cast iron covers and a pot with a snug cover that holds about 12 quarts or more, and you'll need a wooden spoon to stir with.. If you at least got all them let's go. Fire up the stove, grill, whatever and place that big pot on some low heat for now. Open up all the cans of stuff, except the beer and soda, and dump the contents thereof into the pot. Now you can use a can of beer to flush out all the goodie left in the cans and empty that into the pot. When all the cans are nice and clean they are ready for the recycle bin. Chop up all the onions and dump them into the pot. Take 9 (nine only) Garlic toes, and 9 (nine only) Jalapeno and chop them up fine and add to the pot. Grab your wooden spoon and stir in all the spices, except the Cayenne Pepper Flakes, the Massa Harina Flour, and the Mole'. Get a little pot or bowl that will hold the 2 cups of booze and Mole', stir gently with the handle of the wooden spoon until the Mole' is softened and thoroughly mixed, and add a few drops of Olive Oil on top, then cover and set aside.

Now grab your cast iron skillet and rub a little Olive Oil around the bottom, you wont need much oil to brown the pork as it will make its own grease. You just need enough to keep it from stickin' before it begins to brown. Use your wooden spoon to stir the pork around so that it browns well and breaks up into little pieces. When it's brown enough spoon the meat (meat only, not grease) into the big pot and stir it in. Now, you might find a couple of bread heels to mop the grease out of the pan and toss out to the birds. Them little critters need to eat too and bread and grease keeps them warm in the winter.

OK, got the grease mopped up? Good, but don't make like Mr. Clean and start scrubbin' pots and pans, we ain't ready to scrub yet. Just pop open a can of that 7-Up and flush a little of that around the skillet to clear the rest of the grease and toss that into the simmerin' pot. And, by the way, watch the heat on that pot, and stir it once in a while, don't want nothin' burnin' or stickin' to the bottom. Keep the heat way down for now.

And now, we are goin' to work on the beef (buffalo). Take about a third or fourth at a time (depends on how big the skillet is) and brown that in some Olive Oil. When it's browned toss that into the pot, oil and all And flush out the pan each time with a little 7-Up (of course that goes into the pot). Repeat the process each time until all the beef (buffalo) is browned. That big pot gettin' pretty full? Check the heat, don't want it to boil, just simmer, put the lid on for now, but don't forget to stir it once in a while.

And now, for the most important step of all Gather up that lean veal and put it into the skillet with some oil. And, look around for them last two Jalapeno and the last two cloves of Garlic, slice 'em up into the skillet. Get that little pot or bowl of booze and Mole' and stir it into the pan with the veal, make sure the veal is all coated. Find your cast iron cover for the skillet and cover it up tight. Set the heat medium low and don't you dare uncover it until it's done. About 45 minutes of slow cookin' should do it. Pull the covered skillet off the heat and let it cool down before flippin' the lid. If you uncover that pan before it cools a bit all that booze will turn to steam and leave.

But, in the meantime, you'll have enough to do watchin' the other pot, you know, like stirrin' it once in a while. Anyway, by now some of the meat already simmerin' should be gettin' as tender as a spanked baby's ass. If your wooden spoon can break up them big chunks of beef, you'll know it's gettin' done.

OK, lets get back to that covered skillet. Is it cool enough? Touch the top, and if no hide comes off your fingers then it's cool enough, and now you can uncover it. Don't sniff that aroma too much or you'll get off on a hell of a high. Just dump the whole works into the big pot and cover it and simmer awhile longer, until all the meat is just about cooked apart.

Well now, you can gather up all your friends and neighbors, set the table and cut the heat. Check your pot and stir it up good to get everything mixed. Does it seem a little watery? No problem, just spoon out a little juice and mix it with the Massa Harina Flour until it is like paste, and then blend it back into the pot. If you think the consistency is right, then no need for the flour. Too thick? Use any left over beer and 7-Up to thin it. Serve it in big heavy bowls with a sprinkle of Cayenne Pepper on top

Sure as hell, someone is going to ask, "But where's the beans?" At that point you should have a little pot of Uncle Ben's quick fixin' rice and a can of black beans heated up. Grab up that smart SOB's bowl and get him/her a plate. Spoon out some rice and black beans and dump his/her Chili over the top and hand it back. And for gosh sakes don't ask, "Is that better?" Just look with a little disdain.