I've gone from the great pit of blackness
To the bright light of Mystical awareness
And Now I have settled into this menagerie
Short great burst of light and joy
and equally great lows...
see sawing madly
I search for words to fill my page
To make my thoughts presentable
and I cannot focus long enough to complete.......
I am happy here....not over joyed but
Maybe complacent more than happy
Certainly not comfortanle
It's been years since I can remember comfort
Thinking deeply on this I see the pit looming up again
and I switch lines of reason
a passing thought clings..AVOIDANCE.....
Survival of my sanity I cry out...
I sink back in my chair
I almost have myself convinced
then with a start I sit up
delve deeper again
I was almost comfortable
and that cannot be allowed
so I induce more suffering
I have to be me...
and me does not allow comfort...
so hold still everyone
I must go whip myself back into a frenzy
It will only take a second
because you see
I am a master
whipping into a wild froth
I see the bottom of the pit coming into focus
with the exhiliration of the whipping still in my veins
I pull up....spiraling wildly up
Cascading showers of a brief flight of light
mmmm so much better
Flailing madly
so much more comfortable here
seeing..and sawing
so much more comfortable in my pain