Thinking Out Loud

By Gerard Meister

All too often, especially during trying times, we get so caught up in the jarring events of the day that we have a tendency to overlook the things that make life worth living. Such as this one:

I was in my Doctor's office waiting for a flu shot when a white-uniformed aide wheeled an elderly, gray-haired woman into the waiting room. She looked to be in her mid-eighties, perhaps more, but certainly not less. "Good morning, Misses so-and-so," the receptionist greeted her. "You're looking well today, but where's Harry?"

"Oh, he'll be up in a minute," the lady responded cheerfully; "he's parking the car. We couldn't get a space close enough so he dropped us off."

A few minutes later Harry stuck his head through the door, motioned the aide not to let on by putting a finger to his lips and stole silently into the room. He was bent over a four-pronged cane, but walked purposefully over to his wife who was still talking to the receptionist and touched her lightly on her left cheek. It took his wife a few seconds to crank up the torque and swivel her neck around to the left. It took Harry an equal number of seconds to bend over and plant a kiss on her right cheek.

"Oh, Harry," she said, as she turned towards the kiss and smiled up at him. "I knew it was you all time."

"I bet you that tell that to all the boys," Harry said, as they exchanged eyes and he eased himself into a chair.

"Why, Mr. Meister," the nurse exclaimed when she called me into the Doctor's room for my shot. "Are you all right? Your eyes are all teary, have you been crying?"

"Of course not," I said. "It must be my allergies, you just never know when they're going to act up."

Folks of my generation - the Greatest Generation - know a thing or two about patriotism. We know that good old-fashioned American patriotism comes with a price. And all too often it is in blood and tears, but sometimes there is a different type of cost, one that can be, as I learned the other day, measured in dollars and cents:

I had pulled into a shopping center parking lot and spied a truck selling American flags, the kind you can fly from your car window. Since my wife claimed the flag I had bought the week before for her car, I decided to stop and pick up another one. While I was paying the young vendor the five dollars, a second car pulled up and one of my compatriots - a senior citizen, that is - eased his way out of the car with a smile. "Boy, am I glad to see you," he said to the flag-man. "Wal-Mart ran out of 'em! I'll take two." He paid, grinning all the while, and walked back to his car, which turned out to be locked with the keys inside.

In short order a crowd gathered, all seeking to help the patriot work out a way to open the door without a key. Wire hangers were produced by the score. One guy said he could force the front window down, without breaking it. Nothing worked. A few of us offered to drive the guy back home. "You must have a spare key there," I said.

"Why of course I do," he said. "But thanks anyway, I don't want to put anyone out. I'll just call a locksmith."

When I got back from marketing the gentleman was sitting in his car about to pull away. "Wow, that was fast," I said. "Must have been some locksmith. What did it cost you?" I asked.

"Well," the man said, " his regular price was sixty dollars, but he gave me a fifty percent discount.

"That must have been one patriotic locksmith," I said.

"No," it wasn't that, the man said. "The discount came after I reached for my wallet and the spare key I forgot I was carrying fell out of my back pocket. I guess he thought it was worth the laugh."

"I agree," I said, and we both laughed.

All of us have been greatly affected by the events of 9-11, but the news media has been affected most. Much of what had constantly occupied the airways pre-attack is now passe.

· Footage of Congressman Gary Condit walking stone faced and tight lipped to and from his office

· The dour Alan Dershowitz refusing to concede the election to President Bush

· Senator Hillary Clinton discussing her book, her goals, her plans, her agenda, her aspirations, her struggles, her timetable and her self.

This might be a good time to bring back Dan Quayle.