On Trek

By Judith Kroll

My past is fading into the sunset. Most of my family and friends are fading into the universe, where visible eyes can no longer see, touch, hug, smile with them, but my memory still brings them to life.

Triggers are always surrounding our senses. A song, a photograph, someone mentions them in a conversation, or something special pops up, that was exactly what they did.

My dad for instance always had a joke or two, up the proverbial sleeve. Sometimes it was a one-liner. For instance, if it started raining, he would say, “I hope it keeps up”. We would say why, we go for a walk now. His answer?. “If it keeps up it can’t come down”. So on a rainy day, I cannot shrug that memory off. It is engraved into my soul, to forever be part of me.

Now if I see a calf in the field, that would trigger my mama memory. There are many, but this one I will share, because it was dear to my soul.

We had a dairy farm, cows and calves, and mom and dad came up to visit. We told them to look at the calves, and pick one out you want named after you.

There were like 40 calves or more and I stood back and watched mom and dad, point, and laugh, and watch and smile, and finally they said here they are. Mom’s nickname was cookie, and Clarice was her birth name. She went with Clarice. There she points...right there, that is Clarice. OK. And Dad’s Will showed up and dad said there he is...and they thought that was an honor to name a calf after them.

Every calf in the field in my mind is a Clarice or a Will. They live on in my memories.

They are a part of our life, all our family and friends who went before us to the Universe. All our fur babies too.

Yes, my past is leaving me in the flesh, but the flashbacks of love are always there for us to smile, reflect, and be thankful we have that ability!!
Judith 11/1/23