Xmas Specter

By Anonymous

OUT OF CONTROL VISIONS
DANCED IN MY HEAD

'Twas the nite before Xmas
And there in my house
I had eaten so much
I couldn't button my blouse.

The pies and the puddings
The mincemeat, the candy
The cookies for Santa
The selection was dandy.

Then out in the kitchen
I heard such a roar
That I sprang to my feet
Spewing crumbs on the floor.

There by the fridge
Was a vision of me
Bursting the scales
At 400 and 3.

"Tell me," I begged
"What can I do
So my vision of me,
Won't become you?"

The specter declared
"This is what you will be...
Continue to binge
And you'll be what you see."

It was then that I realized
Then that I knew
That there's much more to life
Than to swallow and chew.

And the vision exclaimed,
As it faded from sight,
"Merry Xmas to all,
And to all - please eat right!"