Honey Dog Tales 5

By Walt Perryman

More Honey Dog Saga (memories)

Well, I scored two pieces of jerky from the bartender, man it was great. Now, if I can just take a nap here by the stove with out someone stepping on me, I would hate to have to take someone’s leg off tonight. I hope no other dogs come in; I hate to be awakened by a strange dog sniffing me. Can you imagine waking up and some piece of dog meat smelling of you?

It is not easy being a poet’s dog, the jerk. Oh! No! Here he goes again with his favorite and my most hated poem about his little dog getting ran over. Master, can’t you just let go of it, it has been 60 years ago. Do you know how many dog years that is, dog biscuits! I hate to cuss like that, but sometimes he really irritates me. I think the little dog that got ran over was lucky; they did not even have duct tape back then.

Heck! If I got ran over, I would probably stick to the tire, dang duct tape this master tapes my paws to the steering wheel when he drinks too much, and I drive home.

Oh!! Goody! Goody! My master is saying goodbye to everyone, now we can go to the Sonic or will if I drive. Yummy, yummy, a big old hamburger. I guess he is not such a bad master, sometimes. Oh!! Dog biscuits!! He just told the bartender, “Give me one more last beer, again.” That makes four last beers;

That reminds me he just had his 76th birthday and when a female asks how old, he says he is 62. Poor master, he is as about as good at math as he is in punctuation and spelling. And believe me, that is not a compliment.

Well folks I am going to lay back down, looks like we will be here a while. I wish I could go to Aunt Charlottes and get a decent meal; she treats us dogs like royalty. Too bad she did not get me out of the dog pound, I could be living the life, but no, here I am on a bar room floor looking at people’s feet.