Houses and Their Ghosts

By LC Van Savage

It's got to cost a large fortune, but people seem to be doing it more and more; dismantling an entire home and moving it to a totally new location has become an activity lots of people are attempting.

I recently read about one such home being taken apart board by numbered board from a picturesque, calendar setting in Vermont, stacked like cordwood on a big old truck,and hauled off to the coast of California. Now whether this big, ancient weather-beaten old New England beauty will look particularly fitting plopped in a far out, what's happenin' kinda sun 'n surfin' bitchin' dude part of America is beyond the scope of my vision, but my guess would be that no, it would not.In my opinion, a magnificent all-seasoned farm home from Vermont would look in California the way a giraffe would look wandering about at the north pole.

I began to wonder about dismantling and moving old New England homes.I mean what about the ghosts? Now come on folks, face it. Everyone knows that nearly all old New England homes have resident ghosts, and the ones that don't, used to have, but they probably moved on to better hauntings. So, what about them?They've got rights just like anyone else, correct? After all, they were humans once. Well, still are actually, but now of the transparent persuasion.

Think about it. Here we have this nice, harmless ghost who wanders about the old homestead wearing his eighteenth-century cape and stuff, pretending it's still the old days of wenching and dueling, passing time when he's bored by occasionally scaring the living daylights out of the homeowners.

Occasionally out of an amused kindness, these ghosts let themselves be known to realtors because the word is that the value of many New England homes shoots through the roof when the place has a visible haunting; a little hooting, a few pieces of furniture thrown about, mirrors turned around, rocking chairs suddenly rocking, radios suddenly blaring, chairs pulled out behind someone just about to sit down--the usual stuff.

These poor beings have been happily floating about these beautiful old, creaky homes for centuries scaring or simply annoying the owners, and now suddenly they find their old homesteads are being torn apart, every piece numbered and all of it packed on board trucks and hauled away.

What do those ghosts do then? Do they float about the property and stare down into the big foundation hole? Do they cast about for another home to possess? Probably not.All the other homes already have their ghosts and as everyone knows, all ghosts are very territorial and are not into sharing.

So, with a sigh, they turn their sad faces toward the departing truck and with a mighty howl,they catapult through the air and settle into the truck and on top of the stacks of lumber which used to be the family manse parlour, and, hunched there, frightened and confused, they ponder their fates. Poor old, old poltergiests. Nobody likes to be abruptly uprooted. Change is often terribly hard on the very very very very elderly.

Contact LC at lcvs@comcast.net. www.lcvansavage.com