For 2019 I Resolve to NOT

By LC Van Savage

Barbara Bush is one of my heroes. She is still that to many people in the entire world, and for me to attempt to tell you all the reasons I admire her would take too much time, and too much typing. I can however, easily narrow it all down to my favorite quote from her, actually three proclamations on camera and to the press at the start of her beloved husband George’s bid for the presidency. She announced that no matter what, she would never wear fashionable clothing, she would never dye her hair and she would never lose weight, so everyone should just stop pushing her to do these things. Yes! These three pronouncements have become my mantra. If Barbara Bush could say those things to the world and expect them to be respected, why can’t I?

Quite naturally that brings us around to New Year’s Eve resolutions for 2019. I’m pleased and proud to say I’ve just about caught up with my resolutions of 2017 I never fulfilled, but I’ve decided this year, I’ll approach this whole silly resolution thing from another angle; the angle of not.

On January 1st at 11:15 AM, I became 81 years old and so now understand I can finally do, say and think pretty much as I please for whatever time I have left, as long as I harm no one, especially myself. Like Mrs. Bush’s three things she swore she’d never do, I also am going to resolve to not fake promise myself I will do things I know I won’t. Here are a few of them:

I resolve to stop worrying about the rope of dust on the top of my indoor window or door frames. I resolve to not ever dust them off because if I do that, the frames may collapse to the floor. For 2019 I will absolutely not clean the basement. After all, at 81 I can plan on our kids doing it when the time finally comes, so why should I resolve to do it now? I won’t. On the plus side however, for 2019 I resolve to always eat sugar and gravy and butter and cookies and milk chocolate whenever the mood hits, but not all at once of course. Even I can show at least some restraint.

Another not-resolution I will not fulfill for 2019 is to make every effort to be nicer, kinder and gentler with Mongo, my long-suffering husband of 60 years. Not because I should be all of those things, but because I simply can’t possibly get any nicer, kinder and gentler with that good man. Another non-resolution will be to let loose of my inner bitch more often or to maybe not ever let loose of it. I’ll have to ponder that one. Another New Year’s Eve non-resolution I am not going to do? I resolve to not avoid sending a few bucks to charities I deem worthy for fear they’ll keep hounding me forever. I also not-resolve for 2019 to cut back at least a little on my casual cussing. OK, scratch that one.I resolve to not force my bored family members to watch those marathon 80-year-old black and white films on that old movie channel. I also not-resolve to be very vocal about those “stupid football games” to certain people who shall be nameless.

So you see gentle readers, I refuse to make hollow promises to myself because a big glittering ball falls somewhere in NYC or because it’s “traditional” to make crazy high-flown promises to my mirror or my laptop, all of which are pretty much completely forgotten by Jan. 3, or to announce to all our very bored friends that I’m going on safari somewhere or will clean out my garage/shed/attic/closets/ and will finally empty out that annoying, decades-old bucket list. Not.

Thus, I thank you Barbara Bush for inspiring me to make non-New Year’s Eve resolutions. My hair will stay the color or non-color it is, my clothes will remain styleless but comfortable, and resolving to drop 35 lbs.? Fuhgeddaboudit. Happy New Year everyone. Make resolutions, but really, don’t bother to keep them. Nobody does, after all.

Contact LC at lcvs@comcast.net. Her newest book “Queenie” is at local bookstores, or contact her directly.