The Mission

By Cayce B. Shelton

I really don't know why I got picked for this job. Who decided that I was the only one who could do it anyway?

Just like the brass to come by and say, "Hey, Dumbass, we want you to go out there and do it. We know you can do it. We looked in your file and found that you are the only one. Make us proud."

Yeah, like when I get shot in the ass, no doubt.

I never liked crawling around on my belly through mud, bugs, spiders and - what is that smell? I guess if I am going to do it, I gotta endure all the hardships, even smelling crap I can't see. Smells just like a pile of something my old dog would leave around.

If I gotta crawl half way across Georgia and back, why did I have to drag this big gun along? Why couldn't I get me one of those little carbines the officers carry? Oh, no, not old Private Dumbass, no sir. He can't do without that long-legged sweetheart he's carried plumb across the continent. Why, he would be lost without that gun. Probably shoot himself in the foot.

Yeah, right.

I hope I reach it before the sun gets up. I don't think I could stand the heat on my back even through all that grass. I hope I got enough of it tied on to fool the idiots out there.

Jesus, it's hot. Sweat's blinding me already - an' it tastes, tastes kinda like Momma's gravy. Boy, I wish I had some of that stuff right now, over a couple of those flaky biscuits. Wow, I could really eat it up, I bet.

Oh, shit, that hurts. Must have hit a stick.

What was that? A shot?

Where is he? Be still, don't breathe.

Oh, man, that stick is jabbing me in the back, too. Feels like it goes all the way through. Got to get off this thing. Move slow, just like they trained you, or at least like the book says. Maybe they won't see you if you move real slow.

I don't think I can go much farther. Side hurts and I'm getting sick to my stomach. Just like when I don't get anything to eat for a long time.

Go ahead, Momma, starve me to death, see if I care. Then you won't have your little boy to cook for anymore.

What's that? What? Dinner already? OK, Momma, I hear you.

I'm a coming, Momma, I'm a coming.