Do I Matter

By Diane Lynch

      That question sums up the whole thought process. I wanted to know if I mattered. This lead me to wondering how often we let people know what a difference they made in our lives. That they mattered to us. Oh, I say I love you, and thank you, a lot. But how often do I tell someone that they matter. I can think of many people, especially from my past, that have made a huge difference - they mattered. Sometimes I wonder if I've ever actually told them how much they mattered and explained how they mattered.

      For example. Christmas came along not long after I met Carole. She had invited me to spend the holidays with her and her family. I told her I needed to wait and see whether or not I would spending Christmas with Greg.

      What she said next was a real wake up call. She told me (in so many words) that her invitation shouldn't be counted as second rate. That it was extremely rude to tell someone what I did. I then needed to make the decision to not wait on someone else's decision - Greg's - to make a decision of my own. It took me a bit for that to process. But it made a lasting impression. One that I carry with me today. Her words, and caring, mattered to me. Enough so they changed the way I thought.

      Another example comes from my therapist. I had a great respect for her as she had helped me travel through so much. However, I had a horrible habit of being late. Until she told me that what's important we always make time for.

      It never occurred to me that being late was that big of a deal. Until that day, when I realized that showing up, and on time, was as important to my recovery as her support. It changed my thought process on respecting peoples time. If you are important to me? I will make it a point to be on time to be with you. She mattered. She changed my behavior.

      There are so many. But it comes down to how important it is to let people know they matter. I think we all need it more than we realize. Of course, it's possible my insecurities are creeping in too. Who knows. I just know that right now, today, I'd like to know I made a difference in someone's life.

©06/02/14 Dianne Lynch