On Trek

By Judith Kroll

         When I look into the mirror, I am face to face with me. When are we truly faced with ourselves? I can picture in my mind what I "look" like and who I am, but to stare myself down is an interesting concept that brings truths to the forefront.

         I see dark hair speckled with transparent strands of white. Each strand has its own story of life, love, and struggle. My hair constantly changes, those darling white strands have been thru it all with me . They are feeling the strands of time also ,but they never quit, they keep coming and enhancing my looks, after all they are ME , and we are one.

         I continue to look at my reflection, and then my life starts reflecting back to me. I have had it all.

         I have had my family growing up, my trek thru the halls of religion, totally immersed in the concept of cultish bondage that would save my family and I from total destruction,. I finally learned that the only destruction I was doomed for was staying in the brainwashing cult, because it was destroying ME!

         I look into my eyes, and I see how far I have come. I have seen much happiness, and I have seen much sadness thru these eyes.I have seen good, and I have seen bad.

         I have felt elation, the kind that tingles every part of my soul, and brings with it memories,that stick to my entire being, and bring me good feelings when I recall them. I have felt hurt. Blinding hurt that prohibits the mind and body to function with the intended joy of the universe. Hurt that makes me want to retreat into a shell of my own making with no way for anyone to come in without me opening a latch first.

         The best way to handle hurt of any kind, is to run right into it. See it, feel it, embrace it as a lesson learned, then run it through your toes as you stomp on it, and walk away. Any kind of frustration, etc, is to be faced and not run away from. We must meet our struggles face to face. So Look into that mirror, and let all that has transpired make you smile, and know that you are who you are because of all the beautiful, and non beautiful events in our lives.

Judith