On Trek

By Judith Kroll

         Picture life as a giant Broadway play. From the day each person is born, the play starts. We become stars the minute we are born. And as our life progresses we continue in the play, but we tend to change roles..

         We are understudies until we become adults...

         And once we are adults, how we did as understudies decides what role we will have in the play of life.

         Will we write the script? Will we direct the script? Will we be one of the actors that function by the lines and rules of everyone?

         Or will we be behind the scenes, making props, and fixing lights, and as our role is important, we have no visible part., unless our name appears in the program way down at the bottom someplace, Only noticeable by friends and family.

         It is now time for an audition. Up to this point we were actors, and behind the scenes players, but now its time to audition for the director’s job.

         To be in control of how this play, our life, comes out we would need the director’s job. We would need to make the moves without fear and repercussions. We need to evaluate where we are and what is needed to move forward.

         Many times we are bounded by the rules of others, and therefore are afraid to step one foot outside the boundaries. We are afraid to make a move without permission.., because if we do, and it’s wrong, we will be ridiculed and it will be called to our attention forever more.

         Sometimes we need to get someone else’s thoughts instead of our own because we don’t trust ourselves. We thus come across as indecisive.

         Old programs, from an old play are held in esteem by many. They put them in photograph folders, or keep them in a neat pile inside a desk for safe keeping. They are reminders and they have some good meaning and memories at times, but we also remember the bad that was associated with the old programs.. We say oh well, but we still manage to get hot under the collar and red with embarrassment when we recall our blunders..

         We tend to forget the blunders of the other players, but we cannot seem to let go of the blunders we ourselves made. We can forgive others of their little faults, but oh heavens not our own.

         Remember the time we rolled the car into the garage, and scraped the side of the car? We cursed our self-till we were blue in the face, and we still shake our imaginary fingers at ourselves because that was a costly, stupid, uncalled for mistake…

         When Our neighbor did the same thing, we said, well you know, it is a hard angle to maneuver into, and the sun does shine hard thru that window, and quit being so hard on yourself, it is really ok.. No one was hurt. , etc. etc. etc.

         What happens when we are around someone who won’t let us forgive ourselves, by constantly bringing it up, saying how stupid we are, and not capable of driving at all, and leave the car out in the driveway, they will put it in the garage for us, as we are not ready for such a big responsibility..

         If they can’t forgive us, then certainly we cannot forgive ourselves, because we are never given an opportunity to do so.

         Now if that same person did scrape the car coming into the garage, it is funny how they can laugh it off, and say oh well, and drop the subject, and heaven help you if you say ONE WORD ..Or even dare to call them stupid, and not capable. etc.

         Something wrong with this picture..

         How do we gain our control back? How do we become directors in our own life?

         How many times do we see someone we know who seem to know what they want, what they are doing, and totally in control of their lives, and having a blast living it? We think, wow I wish I was like that, how wonderful!

         Well, the secret is, we know then, what it means to have control.., so who then would be stopping us from becoming our own director, in our own play of life?

         Our mates? We can say that.. Our kids? We can say that. , Friends, relatives? Or, could it be we are stopping ourselves because we allow others to tell us what to do..??

         A good quote I heard once is, ” We teach folks how to treat us.” Think about that for a few.

         Now is the time to write our own scripts.
         Featherwind