Thinking Out Loud

By Gerard Meister

My wife was very upset with me because I’m still having trouble getting the hang of how to use our new cell phones. Seems that I must be doing something wrong, because she can’t hear me when she calls me and sometimes when I call her.

Plus my phone keeps asking me to do things like “voice command,” which is a complete mystery to me. In fact, she was trying to reach me in Walmart to get something for her and claimed she never heard me answering her, but heard the clerk talk to me. So when I got back home she said she’s getting me a carrier pigeon because (she said) “I can’t live like this!”

Still, I understand the cell phone is very important to modern life. And since I am now able to use the micro wave and the copy machine (okay, but not the fax yet) it’s only a matter of time. Accordingly,