Genuine Unbreakable Ace Hard Rubber Comb

By John I. Blair

Throughout my life I’ve held high standards,
Had champagne tastes on a beer budget.
Oh, I’ve never dwelled in a custom home,
Worn gemstone jewelry or tailored suits;
But I’ve clung to one paragon till this year—
My Genuine Unbreakable
Ace Hard Rubber Comb.

Once I could get these at any store:
Pharmacist, grocer, men’s wear, haberdasher,
Multiple-outlet mass merchandiser;
And properly managed tonsorial parlors
Would always stock a score or more,
A fundamental, indispensable,
Tool for personal care.

But now the Ace Comb factory’s closed;
I can no longer buy their star;
And yesterday my final one
Slid out of my pants with a missing tooth.
Clearly unbreakability’s fled,
Clearly some standards have fallen low,
One more sign of the end times.

©2004 John I. Blair