• Walking on the moon
• Take out pizza available 24/7
• Presidential debates
• Frozen bagels
Still, I’m worried about our future, because of an incident that I lived through last week. I was at the barbers, a uni-sex, cut rate chain, taking my monthly trim. (I really don’t have enough hair to warrant a “cut.”) And just when it came time to pay, we had a power outage. Nothing new to Floridians who, after all, lead the world not only in empty condos, but in living through hurricanes, lightening strikes and power failures.
Knowing that the credit card apparatus was down, I took out my wallet saying to the young lady standing at the register, “how much do I owe you? I’ll pay cash.”
“Cash?” she said quizzically.
“Yes, cash,” I shot back. “You still take cash, don’t you?”
“Of course,” she said, somewhat defensively. “I didn’t mean it that way, we just opened and I don’t have much change in the register and your tab is thirteen dollars for the styling (a “regular” haircut is ten bucks).
“Okay,” I said, fishing a twenty out of my wallet. “Take out thirteen for the cut, plus three for the tip and give me back four dollars.”
“Four dollars?” she asked.
“Yes, see if you can follow this” I said, knowing I was in for the long haul: thirteen plus three for the tip makes sixteen, so I get back four dollars.”
“Okay, just one minute,” she said, as she walked to the back of the store, rummaged through her handbag and came up with – I kid you not – a small battery operated pocket calculator. “Let’s see, that’s twenty dollars, minus thirteen for the styling and minus three for the tip makes (now pressing a few buttons), four dollars that you get back! I think it’s just wonderful how people your age can do all that in your head,” she said with a heartfelt smile.
Heaven help us, I think so, too!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
My constant readers know (and expect) my tales to be true. Since this is really a third party story, I can’t vouch for it, but the fellow who recounted the happening claims that it’s true. So here goes: a fellow that I met at bridge tournament is a practicing physician, and related this story about one of his patients, a “super senior” as he put it.
The gentleman was in for his regular check up, and upon learning that he was doing just fine for a guy his age, asked if the doctor thought it was okay for him to start taking Viagra. The doctor believed him healthy enough, cautioning him only “not to over do it” and started writing out a prescription. But then thought a little more caution was in order.
“Would you know what to do in case of an emergency?” the doctor asked.
“Like what?” the patient queried.
“Well, suppose you got an erection that lasted four hours, or so. What would you do?”
“I don’t know,” the patient said, knotting his brow. “Call one of my wife’s friends, maybe?”
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