Eric Shackle's Column
By
Eric Shackle
Natty Bumppo
Natty Bumppo, euchre spruiker
Spruiker: a person who
harangues prospective customers.
The Macquarie Book of Australian Slang.
Quirky
Kentucky counsel, Natty Bumppo, loves playing euchre after church on Sundays.
He's a world authority on that once-popular card game, and has written a book on
it. "Euchre is a poor man's bridge," Natty declares. "Bridge is
for discerners. Chess is for discerners. Euchre is for drunken slobs who think
they know what they are doing."
Here's how he promotes the book on his website:
Attention:
Aussies! Brits! Canadians! Kiwis!
Now
you, too, can afford
The Columbus Book of Euchre - ISBN 0960489460
The first book
published on this exciting card game since 1905: The rules according
to Hoyle, the rules according to Columbus (Indiana), rules for
two-handed euchre, rules for euchre solitaire, ploys and
axioms. Don’t sit between the markers, don’t trump your
partner’s ace, and don’t order up anything you can’t catch!
90 pages, 19 full color
illustrations
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The book is published by Borf Books. Natty's second wife (he's had five
wives, but divorced only four) invented the name BORF, a word which, copied by a
graffitist, now decorates or disfigures countless buildings and sidewalks in the
national capital, Washington DC.
"My lovely ex-second wife invented the word Borf in 1976," he told
us by email. "She just made the word up on the spur of the moment, when
challenged by her 10-year-old daughter."
Natty is an offbeat Brownsville attorney who used to be called John Dean,
until another young lawyer with that name achieved notoriety in the Watergate
presidential scandal.
So he changed his own name to Nathaniel John Balthazar Bumppo, and has
relished using it ever since. He says he discovered it in a reference to one of
novelist James Fenimore Cooper's native American characters in Garry Wills' book
Nixon Agonistes.
In 1975, he wrote a hilarious article, Why I'd Rather Be Natty Bumppo Than
John Dean (Wouldn't Everybody?) which Esquire Magazine published in June of
that year.
Kentucky's John Dean (born 1940), was a reporter on the Terre Haute Star,
1960; Associated Press, 1962-1963; Indianapolis Star, 1963-1967
("first beard in city room, 1967"); Detroit News, 1969, and a
copy editor on the Indianapolis Star, 1967; Chicago Sun-Times,
1967-1968, 1969-1974; San Francisco Examiner, 1968; Detroit Free Press,
1969.
He worked as a bartender at the Golden Horse Shoe saloon, Oakland,
California, in 1968, a Candygram delivery man for Western Union, San Francisco,
on Valentine's Day, 1969, and a mail order minister of the Universal Life Church
(bonded to perform marriages) in 1974.
Then, seeking a new career, he studied law and later established his practice
in Brownsville. He also runs Borf Books, and compiles an irreverent weekly
Internet newsletter called Tabloid Headlines.
On Sunday mornings (and sometimes on Sunday afternoons "for devout
churchgoers") Natty conducts online euchre lessons. And just after church
on Sunday, he presides over a Weekly World News Round Table at Borf Books'
office.
A recent issue of his Tabloid Headlines newsletter said "Guest
speakers lined up for meetings in the near future include Debra Lafave and John
Fitzgibbons, her attorney (we tried to get her 14-year-old boy friend, but he's
been grounded), and -- Karl Rove!"
Story first posted October 2005
Copyright © 2005 Eric Shackle
Click on author's byline for bio.
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