Provocations
By
pbobby
A Letter to Jesus
(a pbobby provocation)
August 23, 1999
Jesus of Nazareth
10,000 Infinity Place
Kingdom of God 99999-9999
My Dear Jesus,
Since I was seven years old, I have longed to know who You really are, what You think, what all You did while You lived here on this planet I call Earth and what You can tell me about how to live here with peace in my soul. Finding that peace here is so very difficult when I realize, from all I've been taught, how imperfect I am.
At that tender age I did what an evangelist told me to do, "Look to Jesus on the cross to be saved from my sins" when I did not have the slightest idea of what my sins were. I did what I was told, was baptized and went to Sunday School every Sunday because my Daddy was a Baptist Minister. I learned without questioning everything my teacher taught from our "Quarterlies" and the scriptures printed in each lesson.
A body of belief developed as follows: You were sent by God to us holy and pure, having been born the child of a virgin named Mary, and that You were the one and only true Son of God. I feel that You know in advance everything I am writing about and all that I have done in my sixty-six plus years on Your Earth. I was taught that You came to give us the good news from God that we could escape the damnation caused by our sins if we put our trust in You as our Savior who died as a blood sacrifice to redeem us.
I was taught that You did many miracles with divine power while You were here to prove that You were not only the Son of God, but also God himself.
In the New Testament I have read that You caused:
the lame to walk;
the blind to see;
mortals to walk on water as did you;
the possessed of evil spirits to be free;
thousands of hungry people to be fed with only five loaves of bread and two fish;
some dead people to live again;
thousands to wonder about the meaning of your parables;
hundreds to quit their jobs and follow you wherever you went;
unknown numbers of desperate people to experience hope;
the religious and political power system to seek your death;
some of your followers to be willing to die rather than renounce you;
and many other wonderful surprising events to occur.
I also read that those powerful leaders, under the threat your presence posed to their wealth, power and control, did in fact, kill you in a horrible fashion. And that you refused to stay dead, came alive again and appeared to many of those who loved you for the new life you gave to them.
Will you please tell me if all this and myriad other things I know not of, are all factually true. I also want to know if all the authoritative words written by Paul to the fellowships of your followers are to be followed in my daily life.
You know the successes, failures, losses, weaknesses, griefs, and transcendences of my life. You know the miniscule nature of my knowledge, and I pray, the yearnings of my heart to be at oneness with my mysterious God of wonderment.
Am I so naive as to believe all this, or am I outrageously foolish not to believe it all - unquestioningly? I dare not beg you to write me the answers for fear that you may refuse to answer as in God's non-answering of Job's cries for respite from his great grief. Please do not overwhelm me with your thunderous disdain as that story says God did to Job. Please commune with my audacious spirit that has moved me to write you this letter. Come to me in visions or dreams or through other mortals such as me, to give me an anchor to hold me steady in the doings of my life and my certain death. Help me to love myself as I feel You do, and to love others as You do. That's it! Just help me!
P.S. I wish you had written down for all us mortals your sayings and teachings, so that we could be sure of what to believe.
I Love You,
pbobby
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