Life Lesson Hits Again. Ouch!

By LC Van Savage

A snob? Moi? Impossible. I am accepting of all things, open-minded, kind, a liberal thinker, ecumenical, balanced, fair-minded. Or so I’d always pretended to be.

No, that’s not quite true. I wasn’t pretending. I really absolutely knew I was all of those things. When it came to the behaviors of others, and if they weren’t hurting me or anyone else, I accepted everyone. I was perfect.

Especially when it came to weddings. Then I really laid down the Law of Tolerance; mine. When one attended weddings, it was my granite opinion that everyone should dress the part. Men should not show up in T-shirts, shirts with no ties, shirts with no jackets. They should show respect by cleaning up, dressing up, shoes shined, pants pressed, hair trimmed, hands clean, freshly shaved and having the right attitude. Females should appear in clean, perfect dresses, stockings, proper shoes, hair coifed to perfection, glittering jewels, perhaps a hat, the right attitude, and full, but understated war paint.

Yes. That’s how it should be. Weddings are the time to dress properly and show respect. Do it right.

Last weekend I went to a wedding. The bride’s name is Jane, the groom’s is Tom. I know the bride’s parents well.

I walked into the small and charming church in Portland and what I saw there was just simply not PC. Definitely not correct. I myself had dressed up, to a point, although haut fashion has always somehow eluded me. But, gasp, people were there in all manner of dress. Shocking! The bride’s father was splendiferous in a dazzling tuxedo, as was the groom and best man. Everyone else had clearly dressed in any way they’d pleased.

The bride’s mother was beautifully outfitted, as she always is, her family ranged from casual to dressy, and all looked just fine in spite of my exalted standards. There were lots of beautiful grandchildren there, as well as Jane’s terrific siblings. Her stunningly classy ninety-something grandparents nearly stole the show. What a great family!

I smiled, felt superior. I knew how weddings were supposed to be and this wedding wasn’t doing it right. Not at all.

There were people of all colors there, and that was fine. There were handicapped people there too, and that was fine. But not everyone had dressed properly for this occasion, and that wasn’t fine. As I sat on my Cloud of Supremacy, I didn’t know I was soon to have a new Life-Lesson thrust at me, hard, and it was to be a memorable one.

Then Jane came down the aisle on the arm of her good father, and suddenly, guess what? That Life-Lesson slammed squarely into me and I had to accept the fact that these were all loving and good people, funny, amiable, nice, and hello, it didn’t matter at all how they were dressed. No one cared! They were not there to display a great wardrobe, but to honor Jane and Tom, to show them their love, to celebrate the fact that these two people had found each other after many uncertain years, and to watch them pledge their love and devotion to each other forever. I watched those "incorrectnesses" simply vaporize as I got to see all this happen, and I became frankly ashamed at my narrow, nasty, snob-choked intolerances.

The music was nice, the food was picnic food, delicious, wonderful. No booze. Everything simple and sweet, good and nice and I had the time of my life. I began to realize I was really having more fun there than I had had at many of those "correct" weddings.

It was all done so well with such fun, low-key and good, and I had a fabulous time. I’ll never forget Jane and Tom’s wedding. Forgive me if I sound all, "I’ve seen the lightish" and "I’ll never be the same againish." But see, that’s the deal; I have and I won’t.