Thinking Out Loud - May

By Gerard Meister

I'm just plain thrilled that The Apprentice is finally fading away. I really don't know how much longer I could have put up with the visage of Donald Trump on the screen - every screen - 24/7.

Luckily the presidential campaign is heating up at the right moment, so The Donald should be back to Entertainment Tonight or the Real Estate Section of The Times quicker than you can say W E S L EY C L A R K.

In a way that's a shame. There's not much Candidate Kerry or President Bush can do to match the drama of those Democratic Primary debates. Howard Dean - I'll really miss that guy - single-handedly, at least for a few evenings every week, managed to keep Florida's soporific senator Bob Graham awake. Now all we have left is the boring spectacle of Kerry blaming President Bush for every sneak attack on America since the sinking of the Maine and Bush blaming Kerry for voting for every tax increase since the Boston Tea Party.

At least we have the recount to look forward to.

I'm beginning to detect a shift in how the young adults (that's anyone 49 or younger) treat those of us who have already achieved, or bettered, our biblical allotment.

Here's a good example: at the movies last week, I asked the young pup taking my ticket, which way to Ladykillers?

"Make a right and it's the second theatre on your left," he replied smilingly. But when I turned left, he sprinted after me. "Sir! Sir," he shouted excitedly, grabbing my arm and trying to spin me around. "I told you to make a right, you're going the wrong way."

"No, I'm not," I said just as emphatically. "I was going to the john. I always go to the john before, so I can sit through the movie."

"Oh, gee - I'm sorry," he said, releasing his vise-like grip on my arm.

"Don't be sorry, " I said. "It's very nice of you to look out for me like that, but now you've got me so excited I can't remember which movie I was going to see."

"Oh, it's Ladykillers, go straight back on your right………………."