On The Other Hand

By Connie A. Anast

As the new year begins, one usually takes stock in their lives; where they are, where they've been, and where they want to go in the next year. This fosters the prevalent "New Years Resolution", many of which are set, then broken, in a matter of weeks.

I am no exception. I resolved to quit smoking, lose weight, to go back to school and a myriad of other things to improve my life and the lives of those around me, mostly to no avail.

This year is a bit different. A visit to my doctor confirmed that I have a disease which is a precursor to Diabetes, and besides medication, I must change my eating habits and my exercise regimen immediately - which up to now had pretty much close to nil.

So, along with a long time friend, we decided to improve our diets and start going to the gym. Not as a New Years Resolution, but as a lifestyle change.

I have found something quite odd happens when you decide to change your life for the better - to try and improve a bad situation. The Lobsters come out.

Let me explain. At my work, we have little perks now and then since we work very, very hard each month to complete a gigantic load of paperwork. We have a luncheon once a month, we do a "treat day" on Fridays, we have a "bagel day" hosted by our management, etc. In planning our last potluck, my dietary considerations were not an element in selecting the menu, although my condition was at that point, pretty well known. My group wanted a potato bar. Hey, don't get me wrong, I love potatoes, but I have to adhere to a very strict low-carbohydrate diet since I am pre-diabetic, and all carbs turn into straight sugar for me. It's a bad thing. So, I opted out of the potluck and brought my lunch with me.

During the potluck meeting, it was announced when the next bagel day would be. A co-worker said, "Well, you can take me off the list because I am on Atkins and can't have any carbs." Deciding it would be a good time to stand up for myself, I calmly said, "Me, too. I have to low-carb. But thanks!" Someone turned to me and spat, "Well, you're not going to be on a diet forever."

I'm not? Okay, if that's how you want to view it. I calmly replied, "I'm going to be eating this way for the rest of my life for health reasons. But thanks for your concern." Needless to say, after the meeting, I ate lunch at my desk.

The next day was Friday, our weekly "treat day". Two co-workers pick out something to bring, like donuts, sweet rolls, sometimes homemade breakfast casseroles, muffins, etc. I used to love this day. Now, I was dreading it. I wrote to my friend, who is sharing the same struggles with changing her eating habits. A psychology major in college, she relayed to me an interesting phenomenon. It's called the "Lobster Theory". If you put a bunch of lobsters in a pot and leave the lid off, when the water starts to boil and the danger increases, obviously the ones on top start to crawl out to safety. Aware of the danger, the ones on the bottom latch onto the legs of the lobsters above them and pull them back into the boiling water. The theory? If I can't succeed, no one will.

This behavior shocked me. Why would someone purposefully sabotage my efforts to improve my life, and my health?

I realized, after much consideration, that is has nothing to do with me personally, as off as that may sound, since the struggle is so personal. When someone who is weak of character sees another who is dedicating themselves to self-improvement, they are subconsciously jealous. In essence, I am doing for me what they should be doing for themselves, and they feel guilty, worthless and negative about their own self-image. If they look at it as "only a phase" and pass it off, then they can rest easier in mediocrity. My dedication puts fire in their bellies to change their lives.

I can now understand what my sister went through in losing 200 pounds over the course of the last five years. I felt the jealousy, but never tried to sabotage her efforts. I guess that's where the strength of character comes in. And now, she is returning the favor, willing to help and support in any efforts I make to improve my health. I was hoping and praying others in my life would be as supportive, and even if they didn't, I vowed that it wouldn't deter me. This was for me, and no one would take it away.

With this in mind (and breakfast in my backpack), I headed into work on treat day. To my surprise, however, one of the co-workers who brought treats has a husband who is diabetic, and she brought hard-boiled eggs and whole wheat bread for toast. Very thoughtful. I breathed a sigh of relief, and thanks, and told everyone how wonderful breakfast was.

Suddenly, everyone around me was aware, and supportive, of my situation. On bagel day, the bagels were taken to a completely different section of the office, so I wouldn't be tempted. Chocolate and other candy normally very prevalent, is now off of desks around my area. Treat day this past week consisted of chicken salad and large Romaine lettuce leaves for no-carb breakfast wraps. Co-workers are leaving me low-carb recipes on my computer and asking questions about my meal plans instead of criticizing.

Instead of the Lobsters coming out to play, the people around me, at work and at home, are loving and supportive. Maybe it was the change in my attitude that sparked the change in theirs.

Now, I can't wait for treat day again, to see what creations my co-workers will come up with. It's a wonderful feeling, a feeling of acceptance, approval and encouragement.