The Battle Within

By Michael L. Craner

Next month is Veterans Day, and this year we will have a good many more veterans to honor. Some have fought their final battle; others have many more to endure yet. Many will, if they haven’t already, be returning to the battlefields.

This article is about those whose battles are no longer in the battlefield, at least physically. Once it was called “Shell Shock”, later it became known as “Battle Fatigue”. Today we know it as “Post Traumatic Stress Disorder”, (PTSD), its clinical name.

Some of the symptoms of PTSD include: “Avoidance”, where the sufferer closes themself off to the world, their peers, friends and family; “ Self-harm”, where the sufferer may take extreme chances, abuse substances such as drugs and/or alcohol, even attempt suicide; Nightmares are also very common among those with PTSD, from reliving the traumatic experiences, to creating their own nocturnal hell stemming from guilt, shame, anger, etc.

I wanted to write on this topic, because last month I read an article on Yahoo! News about returning veterans and the problems they are facing as they attempt to reintegrate into society. The article moved me, not so much out of sympathy, but because I finally realized that I suffer from PTSD. 

Many observations and realizations came from this acknowledgment, and I wanted to share a few. While PTSD can happen to anyone, I will be relating from a veteran's standpoint, and drawing on my own experiences and observations of some who are close to me.

At first glance, the sufferer may appear perfectly fine, especially if the contributing events are recent. It takes the mind a while to process experiences and feelings, and could take months, maybe even years for effects to manifest. The sufferer may even have blocked the worst of the experiences from their conscious mind, but that does not mean that the mind is not aware, and not manifesting symptoms. While there are a number of common symptoms, most sufferers will be unique unto themselves, and different things will trigger different reactions.

In my case, I have only in the past couple years started to notice the disorder in myself. My wife has told me of screaming nightmares, even lashing out and sometimes hitting her, one time even nearly choking her, for all of which I have no recollection. Sometimes now I can recall the nightmares, but for the most part, my subconscious keeps them from me.

It is important for friends and family to look after each other and see the signs and help the sufferer, because as I noted above, PTSD can affect everyone in contact with the person. PTSD has destroyed marriages, relationships, and lives, and treatment isn’t as easy as a prescription or a counselor. As with an addict, the sufferer must acknowledge the problem in themselves, and make a conscious effort to help themselves, and allow others to help them. This is the tricky part.

The PTSD sufferer will generally not want to discuss the experiences that bother them; they will deny they have a problem, because for the most part, they honestly don’t believe they have a problem. They may see it as everyone else has the problem. They will withdraw and avoid interaction with people; they will be fearful or irritable in crowds where once they were comfortable. Their judgment will be swift, harsh, and unyielding, both toward others and against themselves. Probably the quickest way to turn someone with PTSD away is to say “I Understand”, because in their minds, and perhaps rightfully so, you can’t possibly understand, perhaps because they don’t understand themselves.

If you can’t get them to talk about their experience, much less acknowledge they have a problem, how can you reach them and help start the healing process?

First of all, stand by them, don’t let them drive you away, embrace them with love, compassion and silent understanding, they will begin to open up to you when the time is right for them. Careful observation will reveal many signs and symptoms, areas, topics, words, etc to steer clear of. While the experts believe that confronting the problem areas leads to healing, and indeed it does, it has to be handled correctly, and slowly.

Working around the real problem can be instrumental in the sufferer realizing the problem and allowing help. For example, because PTSD is a stress disorder, working with and teaching the sufferer how to manage other stresses in their lives will help them begin to sort out the problem on their own. Simple things, such as a daily routine, optimized for efficiency, busy, but not overwhelming or inflexible. Time, or not having enough of it to get everything done, is a top-level contributor of daily stress. Learning how to manage time, and daily stressors, will teach the sufferer how to deal with stress. Subconsciously the mind will begin to apply those principles to the deeper underlying problem.

Work on communication, talking to the sufferer, sharing intimate details, gaining their trust through constant interaction, and when the time comes that they begin sharing and speaking, listen. Don’t be judgmental or preachy. Choose your words carefully, avoid saying anything that can be inferred as finger pointing, guilt finding, or shame. Share with them “What I would do”, rather than sounding as if you are telling them what to do or how to approach the problem. Remember, YOU don’t understand, unless you have shared the experiences with them.

Try to keep the sufferer busy and away from opportunity to abuse alcohol or drugs. These CAN be helpful sometimes, but used to excess, will only add to the problems and lead to worse problems.

Get help, they can’t do this alone, and neither can you. Get help from mutual friends, churches, and doctors. Research PTSD, and get as many viewpoints as you can to help you understand what can cause it, and various methods of treatment. Also understand that the sufferer will most likely be affected for the rest of their lives. You can’t cure them, but you can help them deal with it so they remain, or become again, productive and happy people.