Thinking Out Loud

By Gerard Meister

I knew it was only a matter of time before it happened, but it had to and finally it did. A patient sued his doctor and was awarded $250 last month by a small-claims court. Seems that one Aristotelis Belavilas was kept waiting three hours by his physician, Dr. Ty Weller.

"My time is worth something just like his is," Mr. Belavelis said after the trial. The dismayed Doctor responded that, "even more important than the money is that now I have to worry about other patients doing this to me."

The way I look at it the good doctor has nothing to worry about: No lawyer worth his salt will take on a small claims case because they are all too busy making tons of money from malpractice cases. Of course if the politicians ever get serious about capping those preposterous pain and suffering awards that would be a different matter. There is nothing more dangerous to society than a trial lawyer with time on his hands.

So just to be on the safe side I would advise practioners to do away with those, "the doctor will see you now rooms." I get disgruntled every time I'm ushered into one; no windows, few magazines (never a Reader's Digest) and either it's an icebox or a sauna. Take my word for it; there are no grounds to sue for waiting around in a Waiting Room, that's what it's there for.

I seldom write about politics, because I find politicians and things political to be so confusing. Take the current brouhaha about that income tax rebate for taxpayers with dependent children. On a per child basis, the rebates range from $400 to $1,000 and some of the checks are already in the mail. But - and here's the rub - the government restricted this particular income tax rebate to families who actually pay income taxes, which sounded logical to me, but, quite apparently, not to everyone.

When the concept sunk in, politicians (mostly Democrats, but plenty of Republicans, too) came storming out of the woodwork. "Foul," they cried. "Not fair; Un-American," they intoned. "Parents who don't make enough money to pay income taxes shouldn't be disqualified from receiving the rebate just because they're poor," was the case put forth. This gave me pause so I decided to test the argument by going to a new car showroom. After all, who has a finger more firmly on the American pulse than a car dealer?

"Hi," I said, with a smile. "I'm here to talk about the $4,000 rebate you're advertising."

"Well," he said and beamed a smile back at me that would light up the other side of the moon. "You've come to the right place. Got a particular color in mind, I might have it in stock….give you an even better deal."

"No, not really. You see I can't come up with the money for a car right now, so I want only the rebate."

"Would you run that by me again," he said, his smile fading as fast as a shooting star. "Maybe I'm not reading you right."

"Simple," I said. "Just because I can't afford a car at this point in time is no reason for me to miss out on that rebate. I'm an American citizen, you know."

"Listen mister," the salesman said, pointedly. "Your elevator is not going to the top floor and I have no time for this kind of nonsense. I have to work! I pay taxes, you know."

"That's your problem," I shot back, turned and left. "Hmm, still early," I said to myself as I drove away. "Plenty of time to try another dealer."