Guest Column: Alas, To Muse and Ponder

By Denise

Alas, To Muse And Ponder

What is this life supposed to be? Wish I had the answer to that question. It is very elusive. You never can pin it down not for long at the time anyway. The answer is changing all of the time. Situations change, people change and perceptions change. Everything changes. We have really no control over where life will lead us. We think we have it all figured out and it all changes and we are back at square one. Things go in circles. So just remember what goes around comes around. And never say never because that is when life will slap you in the face and say guess again. Some people act like they have all of the answers and that they have it all figured out, but it is just a façade, because they are as messed up and lost as the rest of us.

At this time I am forty years old and still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. How bad is that? What do we all want out of life? I think the answer is just to be loved, have peace, be happy and to feel that we have made a worthwhile mark on the word around us. How do we achieve that? Still not sure. My only philosophy on that is to always treat people the way that you want to be treated and to go that extra mile for people. I know part of being happy is having people around you that love you and you know that in a pinch you can count on them to come through for you. The peace part I am still working on. I have known very little peace in my mind. Life is constantly in turmoil. Like they say "The best laid plans of mice and men." Don't plan anything because it never works out the way you think it will. It is a trap. I have learned to just roll with the flow. I know it is cliché but all you can do is take one moment at a time and take it for what it is. It is a gift that you are still breathing.

I have found that it is difficult to go against the flow. But sometimes, for the only things worthwhile in life, you do have to swim against the current to reach them. The risk is worth the prize. You do have to pick your battles and decide what is important to you. This is also not a constant. You never know what is around the next corner. Life can change in an instant.

One thing is certain. The end of our journey through this wonderful thing called life is that we have to make the last jaunt alone. All you can take with you is the love you have made while on this long strange trip. You can't take all of the money you have made or the toys you have bought along the way. As I am sure you have noticed money has not entered into this equation as the answer as to what life is all about. In the end we go alone and are judged alone, as it should be. We must take responsibility for our actions in life. But I do think the love you have been given and returned during life gives you comfort and the courage to go on this last sojourn.

Notice the little things along the way. The way your children count on you for comfort no matter how old they get. Mine happens to be twenty and has one child and another on the way. But I would still do battle with the Devil himself and not be afraid, for my son. They do remember the things you did for them as they were growing up. I pulled my son out of public school when he was in Seventh grade to Home School him. It was just not safe for him in public school and all he was learning was violence. That is also ironic as I was the PTA Vice-President at his elementary school when he was there, and served on many boards, and lobbied for children, and did make a difference. Then came middle school and things got dangerous. He is still not too old to kiss, hug, and hold my hand. Then there is the smile that your grandchild gives you while you are walking them outside, and showing them the pretty flowers and butterflies, with them firmly clinging onto your hand. Melts the heart. Nothing like it.

You really must appreciate and enjoy nature. Like the Brandywine tomato plants that I have put out although they are still just foliage, because I put them out too late. No blooms - and I don't think I am going to have a tomato to show for it. But I am enjoying watching them grow. Now, I did put out flower seeds - Zinnias, Mums, and Marigolds, and they are blooming now, and I have noticed more butterflies around because of them. They are a joy to watch growing and producing. Pay attention to the world around you.

Also appreciate the love of your parents and family. I had an ideal childhood, which in this day and time is an unheard of thing. Can't go to the shrink and say my Mom or Dad ruined my life. It was not their fault. If it was anyone's, it was mine. They would go to the ends of the earth for me, and have, and I will do the same for them.

Then there are your friends that know all there is to know about you (and a lot of it is not very flattering) and the wonder of it all is, they still love you anyway. They mean you no harm and only want the best for you. If you are in a bad situation and need assistance, give them a call and they become a superhero like Mighty Mouse. Here they come to save the day. No matter what is going on in their lives. They drop it and come running. Goes both ways. Also it is great to have friends that you can do the most outrageous and stupid things with. Hysterical laughter is great for the heart and promoting peace in your life. Those are the best of times and make some of the greatest memories.

One more thing occurs to me before I end this, which is off the subject but it very poignant at this time of year. The perpetrators of September 11, 2001, see that in our county which is supposed to be the melting pot where people came to escape persecution and live in the land of the free and the brave - that we can't even get along amongst ourselves. Despite all that the Statue of Liberty stands for. What does it really mean standing there with her torch for all to see? Does it really hold the meaning that it was meant to? All of the infighting must seem evident to these people (people of different colors, religions, and basically just different ideologies,) and make our country appear very weak. How can we stand united against them, when we are still so obviously divided? Just a pondering of someone who has lost her way.

So much for my philosophy on life. Haven't figured it out and maybe before it is over (and I do still have hope) I will have a brief moment of clarity, and at least some of it will be shown to me. Maybe not. That is just how life works. I think it is different for everyone, and I don't know that anyone ever does figure it out. Good luck on your journey wherever it takes you and I wish for you all that it is at least very interesting. If we didn't have the ups and downs, and everything just went swimmingly all of the time, wouldn't life just be totally boring?

"Life is mostly froth and bubble,
Two things stand like stone,
Kindness in another's trouble,
Courage in your own."
---Adam Lindsay Gordon 1833-1870

Until next time.